Sloth Dreams Patience Putty - Stress Relief Funny Gag Gift for Friends, BFF, Stocking Stuffers, Secret Santa - Weird Gifts for Adults and Children

Sloth Dreams Patience Putty My dad is Mr. Sloth; I’m the dude! There are tons of people in this world that wear out your patience. The lady at the DMV named Gladys that can’t print you a new driver’s license, because you don’t remember your third-grade teacher’s name. That lazy dude at work who steals all your ideas. When your patience wears thin, it’s time to Zen out and be like the mighty sloth. Sloth Dreams Patience Putty lets you squeeze and pull your stress out, so you can take on the day. Do you ever wonder what sloths dream about? It’s probably nothing energetic. They’re dreaming about taking 15 hours to eat a leaf and the 4-day lovemaking session with that fetching mold-covered sloth two trees over. Do you ever see a sloth stressed out? There’s no such thing as sloth-pattern baldness, because they are masters of Don’t Give A #%$^. If sloth is a sin, I’ll take it Sloth Dreams Patience Putty puts all the emotional stability and sheer chill that every sloth represents and packages it into a cute collectible tin. Sloths don’t have a hustle and bustle lifestyle like you do. Their lives consist of move here, nap, eat, nap, nap, move again, poop once a week. Sloths are the original stoners, and you can have that relaxed attitude with this stress putty. The only a way a sloth can be more mellow is if it were actually dead. Even then, it takes other sloths two weeks to figure it out. People are frustrating. Children are annoying. Bosses are bossy. Your patience can only take so much. It’s time to master your inner sloth, and let stress melt away with every push and pull of this magical putty. It’s a fabulously chillaxing addition to care packages, gift baskets, birthday presents, and Christmas stocking stuffers. FOR NOVELTY USE ONLY

• IT’S LIKE CHEECH AND CHONG HAD A BABY – Do you remember what it was like to be a kid? No stress. No problems. Just playing and taking naps. Those were the days. You can have those carefree days again with Sloth Dreams Patience Putty. It’s therapeutic and fun. What more could you ask for?
• TIME TO SLOW WAY DOWN – When you’ve got nothing to be in a hurry for, life can be quite beautiful. If sloths teach one thing by example, it’s to stop and smell the roses…and probably eat them. They’re sloths, what do you expect? Stop worrying about life, grab some putty and just enjoy.
• SLOTHS ARE JUST AWESOME – It’s a sloth. Do you even need another reason for buying this? They’re the cutest animals on the planet with the best attitude ever. They look stoned 24-hours a day and have the munchies all the time. Who wouldn’t want to be a sloth? Sloth Dreams Patience Putty is the closest thing you can get…legally.
• PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE AND KEEPS YOU FROM THROAT-PUNCHING – We’ve all had that fantasy where the blowhard from work won’t shut up, and you just punch him so hard he drops like a brick. In the real world, that’s called assault and generally frowned upon in both the business and legal communities. Sloth Dreams Patience Putty keeps you from throat-punching, and lets you keep that 401K funded.
• SPECIALLY DESIGNED TO SOOTHE AWAY STRESS: Release tension as you loosen the putty by squeezing and kneading it in your hands. It’s basically sloth essence in a tin that fits in your desk drawer or purse for immediate relief whenever you need it.