The Myth of Misbehavior: Differentiating behaviors from symptoms to support mental health in childhood (Children's Mental Health Resource Center Books) Paperback – September 26, 2024

As mental health professionals who work with parents, caregivers, and teachers, we at CMHRC often hear adults use words such as “chose,” “refused,” and “decided,” to describe how children behave. For example, an adult may say, “to avoid doing the assignment, Johnny chose to be disruptive to the rest of the class,” or, “Nellie refused to put on her shoes and her coat to leave for school,” or, “Michael decided not to line up with the other children when recess ended.”The truth is, for children who live with mental health challenges like mood disorders, bipolar disorder, and FOH, those “behaviors” are, more often than not, actually symptoms. These disorders have effects that significantly impact how children and teens interact with the world and other people. When children live with a mental health disorder they often have absolutely no control over those so-called “behaviors.”Accepting the myth that behaviors, or “misbehaviors,” are intentional choices rather than symptoms, or communication of need, harms not only children but also their parents, teachers, and providers. Kids feel isolated, blamed, shamed, and helpless to manage involuntary and overwhelming symptoms. Parents and other adults are left feeling frustrated, become unempathetic, and are at a complete loss. They have tried everything and have no idea what they are supposed to do to make these kids “behave.” The truth is that there is no way to “make kids behave,” especially when they are battling mental health disorders. Kids do well when they can. When kids don’t do well, it is because they can’t. In these circumstances, it is our job as trusted grown-ups to help them manage, not to add to their distress. Read more